Insights from my time with an Executive Coach
In December of 2018, I began an executive coaching period with Sharma Graham. Across the dozen one-on-one coaching sessions I had with Sharma, I decided to make some significant changes in my life; these changes led to insight, growth, and an expanded realm of opportunity; and I want to share some of the tools I used and insights I reached here.
With Sharma, I realized pretty early on that I needed to leave the organization I had worked with for over a decade (Creative Commons). I had held every job I wanted to hold, learned everything I wanted to learn, and I knew that in order for me to grow and evolve in new directions, I had to step out on my own. (I am currently developing vision & strategy for organizations, in addition to research and roadmapping for specific products and programs. I’m also writing a book about friendship! Get in touch if your interest is piqued.)
I was very nervous. I wasn’t simply moving from one organization to the safety of another organization. I was quitting! I was quitting with a plan that was more of a framework for navigating unknown territory than a step-by-step manual for a certain future.
But any doubts and nerves I had were no match for the tools I had built up in my arsenal. These tools formed the solid foundation that I continue to work from each day as I move towards my goals and navigate thorny situations — professional, personal, and everything in between.
They include my personal vision, mission, and values — what I consider the foundational text that has driven my decisions and actions over this past year. They also include my intention statements, which I have revised and updated since ending my tenure at Creative Commons.
I’m sharing both of those texts here. I share them openly, in earnest, and with a certain amount of trepidation. One thing I have encountered in the past few months since stepping out on my own is that, as with anything you do in life, but especially with things you do that trend away from convention or practical wisdom, you make yourself open to criticism, rejection, all shades of derision, and even unkindness. People are both well and ill intentioned. People also have their own fears and anxieties they will project onto you.
I have learned that I will continue to encounter people who will, for whatever reason, be unsupportive. I have also learned that the majority of my friends and colleagues totally believe in and support me. I have learned that I have a wonderful network of people around the world who strive for much of the same things in life that I do, believe in the same values as I do, and that these brave, intelligent, kind, and cognizant friends and colleagues far outnumber and outshine any detractors.
Thank you to those friends and colleagues, especially Sharma, who has developed a process I believe in! Here’s to more years of meeting kindred souls and strengthening bonds with existing ones.
In the meantime, below are some of the tools that armed me in the past year. I hope you might glean something from them.
Vision, Mission & Values
I still refer to this guiding and grounding text to help steer my efforts, and to reassure myself that despite the various — and sometimes seemingly random — things I’m doing, I have a strong foundation and reasons for navigating my life this way.
CORE VALUES
VISION
My impossible, incredible future is a world where people of diverse backgrounds and cultures can learn and grow from each other, find joy and understanding in each other, and forge bonds of friendship that hold up against the odds of life. It is a world where humanity is only ever divided into families of friends, and not nations.
MISSION
The mission is what I am doing now to make the vision a reality. It may evolve rapidly over time, while the vision may stay conceptually the same.
Currently —
- I’m capturing the weird and wonderful ways I bond with people and translating it into creative forms (e.g. a book) as a gift to my friends and as a history for myself.
- I’m also advising on vision & strategy development for social impact organizations and programs, including research & roadmapping for products. I welcome partnerships with clients that share my vision for the world, or that seek to tackle existing problems in socially innovative ways.
Intention Statements
I refer to and refresh these statements every so often when I need to be my own cheerleader. These tend to help me when I encounter unwieldy situations or people. The framework for these statements are from M.A.D.E. To Lead’s Courageous Personal Leadership Model.
1) Manage your internal environment
I am keenly aware of my domain and its perimeters, standing watchful guard and making sure my boundaries are secure. I am strong and don’t let what people say or do disturb my internal seas, and if something should upset my equilibrium, I am able to balance myself again by pausing, taking stock of the situation, and dealing with each provocation with patience, logic, and fairness. I am building an additional border around my perimeter so that I may receive, assess, and introduce or exit feedback that pertains, or doesn’t pertain, to my situation, self, and goals.
2) Ask for what you need
I am driven and motivated to ask for what I need, when I need it, in order to evolve myself and my situation. My most ambitious project is my life, and I am committed to furthering this project with the help of others, because other people can only enrich this project and make me stronger and more resilient. I am resourceful, and manage my time and resources efficiently and effectively, and I know when to sit on something and when to forward motion.
I am generous with my attention and resources, and I am confident enough in my own value to ask for what I need from others when it comes to my emotional, physical, and intellectual needs.
3) Decide to take risks
I risk making myself vulnerable and open to criticism and rejection, in order to further my goals, which include my creative endeavors and securing my next job(s), whatever those may be. The potential positive outcomes outweigh the negatives, since learning and growth occur regardless of outcome.
4) Embody your personal mission, vision, and values
I navigate my friendships and relationships with all people according to my foundational set of values and vision for a better world. I adapt to different environments and cultures, but not to the extent that it compromises my personal vision, mission, and values. I am a multifaceted individual, that seeks to expand my mind, heart, and worldview in all areas, and I never stop learning, growing, and evolving in my life’s project. I am bold and fearless, but also compassionate and understanding of others, in my life’s pursuit. And I grow and mature as a result, and this growth never stops. I am never done until it is time for me to leave this earth.
